-Quotes 50 to 100-
I’m obsessive about writing down quotes. Funny, inspiring, smart-ass quotes. Some are aphoristic fridge magnet fare, some are well-phrased pieces of dialogue I aspire to. Here are those quotes, unearthed from the OneNote labyrinth fifty at a time. We’ll be here a while.
If you know any of the missing sources, let me know!
- People like you, you don’t need drugs, you just hallucinate 24 hours a day. –Unknown
- Treat her like a queen and she’ll treat you like a king. Treat her like a game and she’ll show you how it’s played. – Unknown
- To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man’s life. ―T. S. Eliot, The Use of Poetry and the Use of Criticism
- But even in that moment–even as I thought about telling her how deeply I cared for her–some part of me knew it wouldn’t last. It wasn’t that I regretted what happened, and I knew that I could probably spend years getting to know her, loving every moment. She was beautiful on every level, and I knew she would always challenge me. But it would never be complete. It would never feel as if I couldn’t breathe without her next to me. It would always feel like she were standing in for someone else. Who that was, I didn’t know yet, but I knew she was still out there somewhere, even in those first few moments with Anne. –Until the Next Time, Kevin Fox
- All souls are hostage to their human envelopes. –Gregory Maguire, Wicked
- Dirt is what’s under your fingernails, what you sweep off your floor. Soil is something different. Something dynamic. The catalyst for plant life. –Unknown
- Your love is like a giant pigeon crapping on my heart. –Friends
- What we feel isn’t important, it’s utterly unimportant. The only question is what we do. –The Reader
- Wash, tell me I’m pretty.
Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Cause I’m pretty?
Cause you’re pretty. –Firefly
- This is just a moment in time. Step aside and let it happen. –Firefly
- Madness? Have you looked at this scan carefully, Doctor? At his face? It’s love, in point of fact. Something a good deal more dangerous. –Firefly
- There’s no town drunk here, we just all take turns. –Unknown
- If it has 2 heads it can eat you twice as fast. –Unknown
- Oh, but I’m an atheist, maybe more of a nihilistic pragmatist I guess. Or an existential pagan, if you will. –Adventureland
- You overzealous son of a bitch. –Hitch
- That the bookstores divide into romance and mystery suggests the two most powerful fantasies are someone to love and someone to blame. -Unknown, but this sounds like a Glen Weldon-ism
- Nationalism is our form of incest, is our idolatry, is our insanity. “Patriotism” is its cult. It should hardly be necessary to say, that by “patriotism” I mean that attitude which puts the own nation above humanity, above the principles of truth and justice; not the loving interest in one’s own nation, which is the concern with the nation’s spiritual as much as with its material welfare, never with its power over other nations. Just as love for one individual which excludes the love for others is not love, love for one’s country which is not part of one’s love for humanity is not love, but idolatrous worship. –Erich Fromm
- There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. –Friedrich Nietzsche, On Reading and Writing
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of saying that, sometimes, corn just needs to lie the fuck down. –Unknown
- Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you. –Quote Investigator answers this better than I could here.
- The dude abides. –The Big Lebowski
- A bird may love a fish, but where would they live? –Ever After
- The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long. And you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy. –Blade Runner
- Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven. –Paradise Lost
- For I am the patron of hunters. –Unknown (Lucifer?)
- Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. –H. G. Wells
- I’ll admit it, I have a grudge, because Cosmo really screwed up my early sex life with stuff like this. Not because it’s wrong, exactly–lots of guys really do like being touched there–but because it presents an individual and situational reaction as a guarantee. It makes it sound like there’s an automatic Taint Pleasure Button installed in all taints.
So the first time you go for the Taint Pleasure Button and the guy giggles, or goes “meh,” or says “whoa, not there,” you feel like a failure at sex. You followed the instructions faithfully, but the results aren’t what you wanted–the logical conclusion is that your taint-licking technique just sucks. Because you suck. Because there’s something wrong with you and you can’t even know what it is.
I don’t know if the author just didn’t consider that some men don’t like taint-licking, or if they thought it would be hard or tedious to acknowledge the fact–but when you’re an insecure sixteen-year-old with a mouth full of indifferent taint, that ignorance/laziness has some dark-ass consequences. –Pervocracy
- I am opposed to the disgraceful modern softness of feeling. –Nietzsche
- Better to have a short life spent doing what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way. – Alan Watts
- The whole pleasure of being a human lies in being stupid, but in learning to be less stupid together. –John Green, An Open Letter to Students Returning to School
- Civilization is never more than three meals away from collapse. –Larry Niven
- A shriek ran through Eternity:
And a paralytic stroke
At the birth of the human shadow.
–William Blake, The Book of Urizen
- Can that be love, that drinks another as a sponge drinks water?
–William Blake, Visions of the Daughters of Albion
- Among the forest glades, when jocund June
Rolled fast along the sky his ward and genial moon.
–William Wordsworth, The Female Vagrant
- And does it really matter and is this all just pseudo-intellectual navel-gazing? Navel-gazing is a weird term. Staring into your belly? Whoa. What is that? –Hank Green
- The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless. –Leo Tolstoy
- I compared all the world’s religions, and there’s only one creation story that doesn’t blame women for all that is bad about life. –Joseph Campbell
- It’s like I have calendrically specific dementia. –John Green
- For a long time I wanted to title Looking for Alaska as Warm Malt Liquor: A Novel. –John Green
- The more you take out of your sentence, the more like poetry it becomes. Poetry is economic language. Poetry is perfect language. –Unknown
- Ladies, when it comes to “guys your mother warned you about,” this beautiful man-chunk has all the bases covered. Tattooed, long-haired, leather-clad, often found bare-chested. He’ll tell you everything you want to hear, whisk you away to a beautiful secluded spot in the woods, and masterfully apply his charms, skills, rock solid body, and the stamina it comes with. Your mother warned you about men like this. Because she wants him all to herself.
Proud graduate of the Casanova’s Cunning Tongue University. Magna Cum Laude. –Steve Argyle, “Elven Rogue” painting
- Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker –Ogden Nash
- Of course I believe in free will, what choice do I have? – I. B. Singer
- He stood on the shore of uncertainty…and dove in. –Unknown
- Man-cages built by No Questions Asked Fabricators: Discretely supplying reprobates wretched mischievy since 1823. –Steve Argyle
- Statham’s IMDB.com profile, collectively, is a promise to you, the weary filmgoer. It’s a promise that says, “I promise that you will not FOR ONE SECOND be bored during one of my movies. You won’t learn shit about the human condition, or feel a collective connection with the brotherhood of man. But if you give me $10, I will fuck an explosion while a Slayer song plays.” –Patton Oswalt
- The only difference in something being vitally important, and not important at all, is whether or not you believe it is. -Hank Green, “The Myth of Greatness”
- You should look skeptically at anyone who treats an entire continent as an undifferentiated mass of poverty and disease. –Bill Gates on Africa
- You girls are just a little too thinky. –Unknown
- Lucille: I don’t have the milk of mother’s kindness in me anymore.
Michael: Yeah, that udder’s been dry for a while though, hasn’t it? –Arrested Development