Well-Quoted Part 1


I’m obsessive about writing down quotes. Funny, inspiring, smart-ass quotes. Some are aphoristic fridge magnet fare, some are well-phrased pieces of dialogue I aspire to. Here are those quotes, unearthed from the OneNote labyrinth fifty at a time. We’ll be here a while.

In pre smartphone times I’d hastily scrawl lines I liked at the movie theatre on my arm. Thus, some of these could be misquoted, and some are from unknown sources. If you know the source, let me know!

  1. She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit. –W. Somerset Maugham

  1. Arya did not dare [rinse off], even though she smelled as bad as Yoren by now, all sour and stinky. Some of the creatures living in her clothes had come all the way from Flea Bottom with her; it didn’t seem right to drown them. –George R. R. Martin, A Clash of Kings
  1. My muse is a fickle bitch with a very short attention span. –Bioshock
  1. Photography is magic that takes an instant and turns it into something everlasting.Autumn’s Concerto
  1. After all… I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. –Notting Hill (which I’ve never actually seen)
  1. A baby? A motherfucking-roly-poly chubby-cheeked shit-machine? –Deb, Dexter
  1. The grocery store, the modern day equivalent of the Serengeti. Where the hungry lion goes to hunt, and my weaker brethren reward me with gifts. –Dexter
  1. This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel. –Horace Walpole
  1. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. –Ingrid Bergman
  1. Fate! Must you rub your tabasco irony in my tender loins? –Vork, The Guild
  1. Are you nervous?
    [Shakes head.]
    Then why are you gulping down your spit like that? –Unknown (Hitch?)
  1. Magic’s just science that we don’t understand yet. –Arthur C. Clark
  1. Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch…I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. –Crash Davis, Bull Durham
  1. Writers are egomaniacs with low self-esteem. –Unknown
  1. The real reason to get involved in the arts is that you have no choice. –Unknown
  1. Mafia? Vampires? Hey, it’s a movie! –Unknown, presumably talking about Innocent Blood
  1. Fresh-squeezed? Wow, well aren’t we the fucking Kennedys. –Dexter
  1. Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. – Edgar Allan Poe
  1. I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. – Frank Herbert, Dune
  1. I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself. –Rita Mae Brown
  1. We’re here on this earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different. –Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country
  1. Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living. –Jonathan Safran Foer
  1. The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. –Isaac Asimov
  1. Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot. -Neil Gaiman
  1. The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. –Terry Pratchett
  1. The longer I live, the more uninformed I feel. Only the young have an explanation for everything. –Isabel Allende
  1. A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. –Charles Dickens
  1. A library is infinity under a roof. –Gail Carson Levine
  1. It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. –Agatha Christie
  1. “Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.”
    “Well, there goes your social life.”  –Clueless
  1. For every complex question there’s a simple answer–and it is clever, neat, and wrong. –H. L. Mencken
  1. To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. –Elbert Hubbard
  1. The voice of reason is small but very persistent. –Sigmund Freud
  1. To remain ignorant of things that happened before your time is to remain a child. –Marcus Tullius Cicero
  1. De omnibus dubitandum est (Everything must be doubted) –René Descartes
  1. Sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections. –Idiocracy
  1. Your joy can fill you only as deeply as your sorrow has carved you. –Kahlil Gibran
  1. The evilness of a man is measured by the width of his shoulderpads. –Unknown
  1. The truth resists simplicity. –John Green
  1. Anyone who’s going to find his way in the world has to start by admitting he doesn’t know where the hell he is half the time. –Thor
  1. Life itself seems to be a long succession of tradeoffs, and survival itself a choice. –Unknown
  1. Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire. –William Butler Yeats
  1. Art is either plagiarism or revolution. –Paul Gauguin
  1. Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze. –Elinor Glyn
  1. In the age of advanced technology, spiritual devastation is more likely to come from an enemy with a smiling face. –Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death
  1. Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. –Evelyn Waugh
  1. I would always rather be happy than dignified. –Charlotte Brontë
  1. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. – Seuss
  1. A smile is the chosen vehicle of all ambiguities. –Herman Melville
  1. In all my life, I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret. –Firefly

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